


The Verdict

by SaunteringVaguelyDownwards



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Experimental Style, Gen, Origins, Surrealism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-25
Updated: 2013-07-25
Packaged: 2017-12-21 07:34:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/897605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaunteringVaguelyDownwards/pseuds/SaunteringVaguelyDownwards
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We must assume that human life is fickle and does not always go according to plan. This is regrettable, but retaliatory action has already been taken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Verdict

**Author's Note:**

> M spent two hours picking apart my crazy, for which she gets mountains of muffins.

Mal is born hollow. That is not her fault, and neither her mother’s. 

Dom is born in a corn field. This says a lot about him, but that's a complete coincidence.

Ariadne is born with six fingers on her right hand. She gnaws one off, which is considered a very wise decision all around.

Eames is born with a twin, who dies a week later. That was not planned and should be regarded as such.

Saito is born on a Saturday, for which all are thankful. Imagine what would have happened if it had been a Wednesday.

Arthur is born first when his mother is sleeping, then again when she is awake. It is most strenuous, but maybe for the best.

Yusuf is born into a thick fog. There can be no doubt about that, and anybody who says it wasn't so is a liar.

 

*

 

Mal is six years old when she eats an éclair with strawberry filling for the first time. It could have a tremendous impact on her life, but it does not. She is to this day sad about this fact.

Dom sleeps in a tree until he is eight. Then he comes down and goes to school, which is a very interesting progression of things. It could very well also have gone the other way round.

Ariadne never learns an instrument, so she plays on the windowpanes. One day she finds a rhythm that makes the glass shatter. She will never be able to recreate it.

Eames does not know, until he is more than ten years old, what silence sounds like. Once he discovers it, he is so scared he runs off with a circus for two years. Also, one of these things is not true.

Saito has a canary bird, which does not influence his life at all. If it had been a dog, maybe. But not a canary.

Arthur runs more distances than any other boy his age in the western hemisphere. If this had been properly documented, he would hold a world record now. He also would have stopped lying.

Yusuf has three grandmothers, one sister, and no mother. Maybe she died giving birth, maybe she ran away. He will never know, which is just as well.

 

*

 

Mal has an imaginary and a real friend. She tries to make them acquaintances, but they do not like each other. She cries an entire week about this, but is spared further disappointment.

Dom builds a sandcastle on the beach when he sees the ocean for the first time. In a tremendous oversight, however, he never goes swimming that day. It would have helped him later in life so much.

Ariadne eats bread every morning, which is a blessing. If she had eaten cereal or eggs, she would not have made it past fifteen.

Eames is often more than one boy, which is only confusing if you can't keep them apart. He sings canons with himself, which sound rather dreadful. His mother sends all of them to their room, for which the poor woman cannot be blamed.

Saito makes little dolls out of wool. It is a very unusual hobby, but a profitable one. Finally, someone has done something truly profound for their future, which ought to be noted accordingly.

Arthur moves six times in three years. Fortunately, this is completely inconsequential and can be dismissed completely.

Yusuf does not play hide and seek, because sometimes he hides so well he forgets where he is. That is tragic, but also understandable.

 

*

 

Mal does not like school, where everybody is talkative and bored. She is still hollow, and that hurts in a world full of filled people. This one thing will remain true. 

Dom cannot pronounce 's' properly, so he goes to the speech pathologist once a week. This would be completely unremarkable, if it wasn't for the afternoon he missed at school due to it. All his classmates almost drown in the river.

Ariadne juggles fruits and pens, and sometimes small stones. She thinks that is she still had one more finger, she would be even better. This shows that the general judgment is not to be trusted.

Eames eats lamb until he one day sees one being nursed by his mother, and becomes a vegetarian. Unfortunately, at a later age he will start eating meat again. This will prove to be most fatal.

Saito kisses a girl on the cheek, and later the mouth, and will only remember one of these instances. He can never determine which one, but that is not surprising.

Arthur is almost shot by his uncle, who is not drunk enough to excuse his bad aim. This would have been a vast improvement all things considered, but alas, it was not to be.

Yusuf feeds sleeping pills to his grandmothers, which should be noted as his first experiment. He is on the right track, which cannot be said for everybody.

 

*

 

Mal joins an absurdist theater group, which is much lauded all around. She also puts herself up for adoption, but has less luck with that.

Dom abandons his dreams for unknown reasons and never goes to New York. Instead he studies locally. Whether or not this was a wise decision is still up for debate.

Ariadne leaves home at sixteen for the first time, and for the last time at twenty. During these years, she is officially considered dead, a fact she is quite proud of, and rightfully so.

Eames travels to Scotland and not quite manages to get eaten by cannibals. This is not a mistake, but for some time it looked like one.

Saito buys a horse, but by now it is much too late for these things. He wastes a few useless years, but will eventually come to his senses.

Arthur holds a charity auction to finance his first computer. Not a lot of money is given, but someone donates a used monitor. This anonymous benefactor will be ranked among the five most influential people in the world.

Yusuf collects meteorites until he discovers insects. From then on, his life is much more satisfactory, even though he still has a long way to go.

 

*

 

Mal is accused of being a political spy when she takes a holiday in Moscow, and is then hired for international intelligence operations once the misunderstanding is cleared up. This is of course a complete lie.

Dom smokes marijuana on weekends and writes an essay about the postmodern ennui of the cornstalk. This wins him a prize and some publicity, which causes great trouble for a lot of people. The episode gets glossed over these days.

Ariadne knits a sweater for her father, which he will wear once and then suffer a heart attack. These incidents are not related at all.

Eames gets rejected by all the universities he applies for, but sits for exams at Cambridge and is awarded a degree proper. This is one of the very few true facts about his life.

Saito holds an innovation contest to recycle water on ships. He never pays the winner his due money, but he does make a fortune in submarines. Maybe this should not have happened, but it will never be known.

Arthur learns to lie in several languages, no matter what his partner is saying. This is considered a great gift and will serve him throughout his life. It will, surprisingly, not make him a good conversationalist.

Yusuf enters and exits the military in the course of three weeks. In this time, he is made a first officer as well as a treasurer. He will never wear a uniform again, however.

 

*

 

Mal marries on a Monday and drinks so much she suffers a blackout. Two weeks later, she is pregnant. That, at least, is accepted without a doubt. 

Dom buys a house on a cliff, but does not mention he is afraid of heights. There is an elevator to the beach, but of course that's nonsense.

Ariadne studies architecture because she hopes to construct a memorial for her lost finger one day. This is a nobler cause than those of the majority of her colleagues, and less selfish than most people give it credit for.

Eames steals an undisclosed painting from the National Gallery, and sells it to his own uncle for more than it is worth. From this day on, he can be considered a professional, whatever that means.

Saito does not drink sparkling water, for which a lot of people are grateful.

Arthur programs the artificial intelligence experiment he is working on to spew pessimistic poetry inspired by Dorothy Parker. The next day, he disappears from the face of the earth, a completely random happenstance.

Yusuf never pays the rent for his apartment, until his landlord places a hissing bundle of eight cats in his room. He does eventually settle his scores, but we can rest assured none of this is true.

 

*

 

Mal extracts a whirligig from her daughters' ear tunnel, which is then closed away in a box to prevent further accidents. This is a most unfortunate decision, and to this day heavily frowned upon.

Dom makes jam out of pears, which tastes absolutely foul. Luckily he can throw it all out before anybody tastes it, a major milestone.

Ariadne gets to swim with a few selected humpback whales, who consider this such a great honour they compose a song for her. Unfortunately, this does not have much consequence, but goes on to prove that they are indeed of superior intellect.

Eames tries to flee the country when he is picked up with five passports. Somebody pays his bail, a favour he will return one day. That, at least, is understood.

Saito learns about tidal power plants and the spots to build them in, which will alter his life considerably. Not much can be said about this, however, as the following did not go as planned.

Arthur wires money across the world for the first time, which can be regarded as his best investment yet. His second-best is a pair of very sturdy shoes, unsurprisingly.

Yusuf inherits a house and moves a few thousand kilometres. Since he takes all the cats with him, nobody worries about it. It is neither here nor there.

 

*

 

Mal revolutionises the legal system by inventing crimes that are non-punishable. She is naturally very proud, but frequently forgets to disclose the names of her comrades. This is widely regarded as a bad move and causes her imaginary friend to leave her.

Dom works with three flat plates, a digital arrow and two needles most of the time. It is admittedly not much, but most obviously the only right direction. Nobody disagrees.

Ariadne draws a bridge that is statically and statistically impossible. Such a major event can be lauded as truly remarkable, and is remembered for many years to come.

Eames wakes up with all the voices inside him clamouring for attention. Since this is completely normal, it can be overlooked easily, and is no cause for concern.

Saito loses his first wife in a boating accident. He grieves for a year before he marries again, this time a woman quite a bit older. This is of course complete rubbish.

Arthur runs his only documented record, which does not count because he is discovered to be sleeping at the time. One of these things is not true, but nobody can be bothered to find out which.

Yusuf buys a prototype for a training device on the black market and is then invited to a lecture in Minneapolis. These two could be connected, but there is still some debate about it.

 

*

 

Mal dies before her children, which is quite the norm. Overall the verdict is that she could have done better, but is not judged too harshly in light of recent events. Others have done worse.

Dom works for the CIA and completes a world trip from Paris to Los Angeles. Nobody knows he does it twice, but then again, only the first time counts. He is, however, not of further interest and also considered a failed project.

Ariadne draws a maze for a man that he cannot solve. Some argue she should have supplied him with red thread instead, but those are the conservative voices and can be dismissed. More will be heard, or so it seems.

Eames exhibits a series of impressionist-style paintings, which gather quite a bit of attention and sell nicely. This was not planned and is thus tried to hush up, but his deceased twin is unbelievably proud.

Saito develops an acute phobia for the colour red and subsequently changes out all the carpets in his apartments. It is always gratifying to see that early investments pay off.

Arthur invents a cocktail called _528491_ , but is arrested when at least sixteen people die after consumption. He calls in his favour, however, and is thus one of the more successful subjects.

Yusuf donates his old minivan to charity and buys a car that runs on olive oil. If he had not done that, he would not have lived past thirty-nine, so it is possibly one of his more pragmatic moves.

 

*

 

Mal tries to sell the house on the cliff after her husband’s death, but is ignored because she too is dead. Many consider this highly unfair, and the controversy surrounding the issue gives rise to a support organisation. This must be seen as her greatest accomplishment and is lauded much.

Dom never writes another essay, which is a serious hiccup in proceedings. It takes quite a few years to smooth over this, and leaves a lot of people very angry.

Ariadne starts construction on her memorial, but will not see it finished. There is a reason for this, but it remains completely unknown.

Eames returns to Scotland, but does not die this time either. This raises much concern and causes a few speculations about the voices in his head, which are held accountable for a long time. All this is of course utter nonsense.

Saito dies first in a plane crash, then is shot in the head, and finally eats an awful lot of sleeping pills. This is viewed mostly as sloppy and superfluous, but ultimately regarded as the best possible course under the circumstances.

Arthur tells the truth for the first time in his life, but there is no one around to listen, so this tremendously important moment goes down unnoticed. Nothing can be said about that.

Yusuf sells his insect collection for much more than can be considered reasonable. How this came to be is still under discussion, and will remain for some time.

 

*

 

Mal remains hollow, as was planned. This earns her the codename of S _hade_ , but a lot of people spell it wrong 

Dom is stuck for years in a very narrow alleyway, and for someone used to open fields this is quite an unfortunate predicament. He is later taken away in a car, at least that's what witnesses saw. Not a lot of people are interested in this particular story.

Ariadne is the only one to deviate so substantially from the plan she is later airbrushed out of most proceedings. She grows a phantom limb however, and is quite content with that.

Eames continuously refuses to die, which is met with a lot of trepidation and considered dreadfully impolite on top. Not much is spoken of him again, a tremendous error.

Saito displays by far the most developed sense of duty, a fact which is acknowledged by all the right people. He is buried for the last time on a Saturday, which can be considered the only logical choice.

Arthur legally reworks his second birth and sets a precedent for all future disputes surrounding the issue. This is widely regarded as his most important achievement and shows that the proper conclusion can be reached even with a faulty start.

Yusuf donates his body to pharmacological experimentation, which is completely overdue and thus nicely sums up all prior efforts.


End file.
